My First Year as a Founder
“I’m going to quit my job because I know this is needed and if anyone is going to do it, I know I can.”
Those were the words I told myself at the beginning of last year as I left my job in the fashion industry to start Muslim Women Professionals. At the time, I was struggling--
*struggling with my mental health because I didn’t feel like I was being valued professionally
*struggling with physical health (a daily four-hour commute by car gets to you at a certain point)
*struggling with my confidence because when you’re giving your all, exceeding expectations, and still have to justify why you deserve more opportunities, you become exhausted
*struggling because you doubt whether you actually do deserve what you’re asking for
*struggling with the uncertainty that comes with leaving a job with absolutely no back up
*struggling with reconciling your reality-- “I went to a good school. I have good networks. I am exceptional at what I do and yet, I am still in this position struggling with uncertainty?”
Despite all of these struggles, there was one thing I didn’t struggle with and that was knowing that what I was about to do would make an impact. That’s what has kept me going these past two years.
There is no “Founder’s Book” on what exactly to expect when starting an organization. There have been some books that were helpful to me such as Good to Great, which highlights the most successful CEOs and their strategies including: the importance of selflessness when making decisions in the workplace, investing in employee growth, and making sure ego doesn’t get in the way of doing what is right for the business as a whole. I could write dozens of points on what I’ve learned in my first year as a Founder, but I thought I would highlight a few that I’ve found have been the most helpful to me.
#1 : The Founder life is not as glamorous as you may think.
“I started an organization to provide Muslim women with a space to help them thrive personally and professionally so that they can embrace their identities”
“That’s incredible! You’re doing such big things. I’m so proud of you.”
People ask me questions all the time about MWP and the strides we’ve made. They don’t realize that it took us months to plan for the launch and what went into creating the organization from the organizational structure to on boarding an executive team to preparing materials for events. They don’t know the struggles I’ve faced to get to this point mentally. In the words of a friend of mine, “People only see face-value, they don’t see the behind-the-scenes. They don’t see the blood, sweat, and tears it took to get to this point.”
After leaving my job, I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless and lost.. and it didn’t stop there. For the first few months of building MWP, I listed out a ton of ideas with absolutely no clear vision of how to execute them. I started putting so much pressure on myself because this idea was all I had at that time. For the first time, I had to hold myself accountable in creating something from scratch. It meant sleepless nights, anxiety, long drives blasting music to combat the anxiety, and of course, the fear of failure. My goal has never been to just create something, but rather, to sustain it successfully. Some may not see the hard work it entails which is why it is so important to not get ahead of yourself. Take it one day at a time. I have a breakdown every so often and it’s usually because I’m focusing too much on what others are doing and not enough on myself. “Comparison is the death of joy” really is true.
If I don’t take care of myself, I struggle mentally and physically and will soon become overwhelmed, which brings me to my next point.
#2: With uncertainty comes inconsistency-find a routine and stick to it.
You are no longer just responsible for yourself, but an entire organization or company. Most of the time, it can feel like it is your entire life, but coming from a family with dozens of entrepreneurs, I’ve witnessed burnout one too many times. It still happens, but there are ways to prevent it. One of the most important things that you can do is find a routine amongst the chaos and spend any extra money you have to invest back into yourself.
Ask anyone close to me and they will tell you too -- my favorite thing to do is go horseback riding. I did it as a kid, but stopped when I got to high school. I started again a few years ago and immediately saw a difference in my mental health.
When I’m riding, I feel like amidst all the things in my life that I can’t control, horseback riding gives me the reins “literally” to control what is right in front of me.
When my horse gets scared or doesn’t listen, I have to act quickly and make sure I don’t lose my cool. Why? The horse can feel every emotion I’m feeling in that moment. If I respond calmly to what the horse is doing, it will have no choice but to respond calmly too. The scary part is if I let any fear I have get to me, they will feel it too and react. It is no wonder why my life seems to get so hectic when I’m not at the ranch. When I am, I leave my phone on silent, maybe take a few pics of the horses, and then set it down. I have my riding lesson, feed the horses, and take walks around the ranch. It is my safe haven-- the only place where I truly feel like I can be alone. I yearn for it when I don’t have the time or am a little tight on my budget, but when I do have both, that’s where I am.
Another thing that has helped me is therapy. Riding horses will help give me clarity, but it won’t give me the answers to solving problems or preventing my anxiety. When I go to therapy, I feel like I have an ally and an accountability coach all in one. Someone who will provide feedback on what I can do better, but also remind me to be kind to myself in moments of error.
These are what work for me. Find what works for you and strive to do them habitually.
#3: Not everyone will understand your vision.
I remember when I had the idea for MWP years ago. I was on a call with two of my best friends, Ujala and Dina. I said to them, “Okay, so I’ve had this idea for a really long time. I kept putting it aside, but I thought that because I’ll be leaving my job soon and with all the islamophobia happening around us that I should just go for it. Be honest, don’t lie. What do you think?”
They raved about the idea. I remember Dina saying, “It’s crazy because I never thought this was something we needed until you said it. Then I asked myself why it hasn’t existed already.” My best friends understood my vision which meant the world to me, but when I first started talking about MWP, 75% of people did not understand.
“So, why is it just for Muslim women? What about Muslim men?” “We have mosques though, so why do we need this?” “If there aren’t men there I don’t see why women would want to go.”
Those first few months were filled with uncertainty. When I said my ideas out loud, I placed so much significance on the other person’s reaction. When they seemed interested, I continued. When they seemed skeptical, I changed the subject or even worse, I undermined my idea.
This will be the norm in the early stages of your idea and that’s okay. The most important thing I can tell any Founder is that you have to believe in your idea wholeheartedly (even if you have your doubts). This is the only time I will say “fake it til you make it”. You have to be your biggest cheerleader because if you’re not, people will notice, they will soon become skeptical, and they will not take you seriously. They are waiting for the moment when you doubt yourself. Don’t give them that satisfaction.
#4: Who you surround yourself with matters now more than ever.
I heard someone on a podcast say, “I realized when I made strides in my life that many people I surrounded myself with did not believe in me the way I hoped they would. For that, I called it the season of shedding-- I got rid of those who undermined me and focused on those who did.”
With starting a new organization or company comes less time for your social life. The last thing you want to do is to surround yourself with people who constantly question your potential. It is one thing for someone to give constructive criticism, but it is another for someone to constantly belittle you. Get rid of the ladder. Why? When you’re hearing people who should be your “friends” aka your team put you down, sooner or later you will start to believe it too. If that means keeping your circle small, so be it.
#5: Despite feeling like every woman you meet will have your best interests at heart, that is simply not the case.
One of the most shocking realizations that I’ve found has been the amount of women I’ve met who actually don’t care about the work I’m trying to do, but just want to be associated with MWP because they, too, know its value. This is when I tell other female founders I am close with when they ask me for advice regarding a potential investor seeking out their company or an influencer who wants to partner with them but they don’t necessarily trust, “Protect what you have created at all costs.” This is not to say don’t trust anyone, but take what everyone says with a grain of salt. Don’t just listen to what they have to say, but look at how they act. Do they treat others with respect? Do they practice what they preach? When I partner with someone, it is because I wholeheartedly believe in their work. When I choose to collaborate with them, we are ultimately building a partnership for the long-term. From that point on, I am their ally and they are mine. This is why it is so important to collaborate with others whose morals or values align with yours. I’ve had experiences where people reach out, I tell them that I am not interested at that time but that I am open to collaborating in the future, and next thing I know they cut ties with me or my organization. Does that sound like an ally to you? Nope. That sounds like someone who is upset they didn’t get their way at a given moment.
Allies will support you whether you're collaborating or not because they truly believe in your vision as you will support them too. My suggestion for those of you who may be at a crossroads--take some time to reflect and then make a decision. What I’ve realized— my intuition has never failed me, which is why when I see a red flag, I move on.
#6: When building your team, find people who not only believe in your mission and values, but embody them.
I didn’t have to look far when building my team. So much of the inspiration behind MWP came from convos with girlfriends at coffee shops, halaqas, iftars, etc. talking about the struggles we faced personally and professionally.
“I got into med school and now my mom wants me to find a man..”
“This dude told me his mom wants him to marry someone who will stay at home. He straight up wasted my time.”
“I’m legit the token Muslim at work. I don’t get paid enough for this $hit.”
#TheStruggleIsReal. When I built my team, I made sure to forward the application to a few people I knew embodied what I was looking for in a team member. Half of the current executive team is made up of people I knew before MWP and the other half is comprised of women I met after. What I love the most is that we all share our struggles so transparently. We are honest with each other, we respect one another, and there is this unspoken bond amongst us. For so many of us, being Muslim is how we identity ourselves first and foremost and unfortunately, most of us have had negative experiences in our communities regarding our decisions to go against the grain and have careers. I can honestly say that this doesn’t feel like work because I’m surrounded by people who each bring something unique to the table. Every single one of them embodies the MWP missions and values. There’s no mean girl culture because that’s not what we’re about. We’re creating opportunities we never had growing up and a space where all of our future daughters (inshAllah) will be able to come together and talk about what they want to be when they get older. We don’t just talk about it, we ARE about it.
“What legacy do I want to leave behind in the world?”
I ask myself this every day. My answer is that I want to leave something behind that will make my community better. I want to take my experiences and create something that will help bring awareness to Muslims and women so that we can have a strong network with incredible resources that are tailored to our needs.
Being a Founder has come with its fair share of struggles, but I hope that in sharing some of my experiences and tips that I can help others embrace the ideas they’ve had for so long and actually act on them to create their own legacies.